the real updates

what my status updates might look like if I was brutally honest:

xx: misses making out

xx: wants to quit her job and live each day to the fullest for a change

xx: needs to buy a vibrator

xx: wants to hang out with nudists some day

xx: wishes there wasn't so much mindless shit in the world

xx: IS bothered when you eat meat and shove it in her face (figuratively speaking) but why would she tell you that when you ask whilst doing exactly that

xx: is late for work because she took some time to pleasure herself this morning